Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Royal Hawaiian: an epic fail

0 out of 5 boners

Absolute crap! I came here for a birthday party and that proves I'm a good friend because reading reviews on Yelp on the way there definitely didn't get me amped! First let's address the drink issue; the lapu lapu is the sole reason why the doors are still open at this place but, back in the day, it used to be enormous, now they come in brandy snifters filled to the brim with ice... weak. The food is disgusting. The salad dressing is water and mayo. I'm fully aware that mayo is in blue cheese and ranch dressing but this was just watered down mayo with NO seasoning over iceburg. The french onion soup is just beef broth with scallion a small torn roll floating in it and SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE... at the bottom!!! That is not french onion and it should be a crime to call it that. The burgers are store bought frozen burgers along with the chicken. My friend got a shrimp dish and with the price breakdown paid $4.25 per shrimp which also made him throw up later. The filet mignon was a NY strip cut in half and seared on the side served like a hot pocket, ice cold in the center and burnt to a crisp outside. I WILL NEVER COME BACK!

The Royal Hawaiian receives no boners what so ever.

Upon further review I suppose a box of Swanson's beef broth with some scallion, shredded cheddar and a kings hawaiian roll shredded in it for $5 IS market price...

1 out of 5 boners because my mom said it was cool in the 80's

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